A recent blog post by a friend has got me thinking about friends and all that stuff more than I was before she posted it. We must have been having the same conversations in our own heads. Anyways, I've tried MANY times to post about it but don't want to offend anyone (why should I care) or look cold.
Not a lot of people know what is going on with my husband. Those who do don't understand it or can't be bothered to. He has a small support system which is not close enough to what he needs. He has lots of people that act like they care, but don't. I wish they would just go away and stop making excuses and trying to be something they are not because in this time of reflection, they don't realize how pathetic they are.
All of that gets me thinking about my support system through all of this. ZIP! I do have a couple of very close friends that do know about it from my perspective but that's it. I don't like to appear weak but let me tell you, the longer this goes on, the harder it is to keep it together. The thing that bothers me is that there are people out there that I was a support system for who haven't even tried to return the favor. OUCH. Good old slap in the face.
Then there are those who when you have had enough of their crap and turn your back on them they try to come out like the victim. Makes you wonder how you could ever consider these people friends to begin with. Your friends, you drift apart - happens all the time right? Then when they realize they will be a part of your life again they come hightailing it back into your life like there is nothing wrong. Hello!! Don't think so. Then when you let them know - not interested anymore, you fooled me before, they act like your the one that did them wrong. Sounds like some using and abusing to me, doesn't it. I don't need that crap in my life.
Close friends or best friends. I have a few. We don't only find the time to talk but when we do get into our hour long rants and catch-ups on the phone, we understand the demands of whiny, crying kids in the background. You deal with it cause that is what friends do. The thing I miss the most about my best friend is the ability to pack up the kids and park myself at her kitchen table in a moments notice. No warning phone call, no nothing, just at her door, screaming kids in tow. And everything is all good after that.
My new town. Well I really thought things would be different here but I really have no complaints. I've met a nice lady down the street who my kids adore. I wish we had more time to spend together but I know that if I needed her, she'd probably be there. And there are a couple other neighbors that have been great too. We all understand that kids and jobs and marriages take precedent but we all take the time to stop and chat and weather permitting have a lovely evening walk or playdate in someones back yard.
Am I happy with what I have for "friends"? Yes, I'm blessed. Am I disappointed by others, I'd be a liar to say I wasn't, I'm only human.
I'm glad I inspired you to write your thoughts out. I found for myself, that alone was helpful. I can't begin to understand what you're going through, but I hope you find whatever means necessary to get the support you need. You are important too, never forget that!
ReplyDeleteAwwww Sandy, I'm sorry your feeling like this. If ya need cheering up we can always pick on Darcie, lol that always cheers me up... Hang in there, Things will work out for all of you, By no means is that career suppose to be easy to deal with. Me luv you
ReplyDeleteThanks Angie. I love picking on Darcie. There was a time when her & I were really close. She's a great girl. And so are you little sister. <3
ReplyDeleteLOL done deal then.
ReplyDeleteYes June, inspired I suppose. I was thinking about the old days when you posted on your blog. I was thinking about a lot of things, still am.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've learned in all this moving around crap, is you can't go back. I went back to an old job once (That I loved) and was only disappointed because everyone else had moved on but me. We can only move forward and make the best of what we have. :) HUGS!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCan't agree with you there June.
ReplyDeleteand that's okay. LOL
ReplyDeleteI guess the way I look at it, if your in a situation like we are, in a new town with more things to do, we could make things better and have more fun.
ReplyDeleteIts not called going back June its called moving forward without having to learn all about your "friend" because you already know just about everything about them. You move forward and be happy that you had the opprotunity to create better and more memories together.
ReplyDelete