Thursday, December 1, 2011

MY PROBLEM??

Have you ever given a lot of thought to the type of person you are? If you were someone else, would you be friends with you?

What kind of personality traits do I have? I have some good ones I think. I'm loyal, honest, trustworthy, happy-go-luck, reliable/dependable. And I have some bad ones too. I'm inpatient. I don't put up with a lot of bullshit. I hate liars. Can't stand back-stabbers. If I say something about you to someone else, I'll say it to your face. If you say something about my friend behind their back, I'll tell them too. That doesn't make me two-faced, that makes me honest and not tolerant of bullshit. I am sometimes way to honest which isn't good for the feelings.

DH's PTSD put a tremendous strain on our marriage. I thought a husband that was always working was bad, that's nothing. Count your lucky stars that the man wants to leave the house and do something and not sleep 15 hours a day, sit on the couch and do nothing. And I mean nothing, not even run to the store to get milk/bread. Doesn't want to play outside with the kids. Oh and lets not forget the driving thing either.

98% of people didn't understand it and didn't pretend to. I don't know what I would have done without DH's friend that got him out of this house and doing things and talked and listened to him and was just his friend without question, without wanting anything in return. Without that person I'm pretty sure right now I'd be a single mother.

While dealing with all that, we lost DH's Uncle. His closest relative. I thought my heart was broken then and then after years of struggling with addiction (its a disease, not a choice) I lost my sister. What do you say to a person that's lost an important part of their life? I don't know because anything you would have said to me, I probably didn't hear. I held my shit together to be strong for my children. Being the tough one to make sure my Mom got through. I put everyone before myself. I suffered in silence. I still have really bad days. But I have a lot more good days than I do bad days now.

When your down and someone kicks you while your there your gonna retaliate in one of a two ways. Your gonna lay there and let yourself continue to be kicked or your gonna come up swinging and your gonna let everyone know your done being fucked with.

I think a good lesson for everyone is that before you make ANY sort of judgment about a person, walk a fraction of a mile in their shoes. Before you start blabbing about what you "think" you know happened or is going on make sure you know the facts.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful blog! I agree whole heartedly! Thanks for sharing!

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