BITTERSWEET

Today I found our house plans! I contemplated keeping it all, the design, the papers from the builders, the lot information and all that fun stuff. The only thing we needed was a move date! Then we decided to stay. Something I struggle with often. I keep reminding myself that I'm doing what's best for my hubby and kids. And I can't deny the fact that I have made some good friends here. I do have a support system here now. I can't help but miss my Winnipeg friends and family though.

Anyways, I decided to throw the stuff in the recycle and if it happens in the future, we'll start new.

Right now my focus is on the progress that we've made with DH's PTSD, the integration of his RTW and the healing process between us. For the last two years the focus was on being the best parents we could be to our children given the cards we were dealt and attempting to keep a marriage going through a real tough time. We will continue to move forward and expect that their will be some set backs. Its not going to be an easy road but we are better prepared and know what to look for. We are both in much better places now even though its been a rough, rough road. DH losing his role model and his closest relative, his Uncle Gord and me losing Nancy while struggling to keep my family together. I don't expect that anyone would understand what any of this has been like for us. But I do expect that before you talk about our situation you know what you are talking about. I have heard some say that they don't understand why DH hasn't worked and can't work because "he looks fine to me." There have been all sorts of things that have come back to DH and I in the community and within DH's work. While DH is more like a duck and lets it roll of his back, I can't. C'est la vie. The whole experience has changed me, for the better.